The Christian woman: Beautiful or “sexy”?

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The Christian woman:
Beautiful or “sexy”?

“And the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail; and the woman was of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance; but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was a Calebite.” (1 Samuel 25:3)

In our previous study, we began to study the godly wife, Abigail, as described by the Spirit of God in 1 Samuel 25:3, and we reached the part that I have put in bold in the above quoted verse.

Usually, when we talk about the biblical standards of the Christian woman’s modesty, worldly people argue that we are old-fashioned and that we prefer to make the woman “ugly” and “psychologically unbalanced”… Of course, for these people “fashion” is what agrees with the tastes of the world, “beautiful” is almost a synonym of “sexy” (what a very vulgar word that they use…), and “intelligent” or “psychologically balanced” is the mind that agrees with the worldly standards…

By the way, aren’t you shocked when you hear people replacing “beautiful” with “sexy”? I am sure many worldly people don’t even realize that there is something abnormal here… For example, I can’t imagine what turns in the mind of a person who shouts “This car is sexy!” I don’t get it: “sexy” normally means “sexually interesting or exciting”… Does this person mean that this car is sexually interesting or exciting?! How can a car sexually excite a human?! Worldly people will now say that I am making a big deal of a simple adjective that would simply mean “beautiful”. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but the adjectives that you use and the choice you make of your words show what is the main concern of your heart! It seems that you think lightly of the following words of our Lord:

“Not what enters into the mouth defiles the man; but what goes forth out of the mouth, this defiles the man.” (Matthew 15:11)

“Do ye not yet apprehend, that everything that enters into the mouth finds its way into the belly, and is cast forth into the draught? but the things which go forth out of the mouth come out of the heart, and those defile man. For out of the heart come forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witnessings, blasphemies; these are the things which defile man” (Matthew 15:17-20)

(This passage comes in an appropriate time, when many people have a period of Lent in which they fast from food that cannot defile man, and continue to defile themselves with what comes out of their mouths…)

So the way you express things and the adjectives and words that you use to express those things show what your heart is occupied with. If your heart’s occupation is with fornication and all sexual defilement, then the adjectives that describe beauty for you will be characterized by the things that you like the most, namely, sex and similar things… By the way, “sex” is also a vulgar way of expressing that sacred relationship called “marital relation” which should not be reduced to a bodily function of pleasure separate from all spiritual meaning; I won’t go into the details of this now.

Now, if this is the case with those who describe a car as “sexy”, then what is the case with those who describe a human being, made in the image of God, as being “sexy”?… How do they reduce this image of God to a physical function that they call “sex”?? Does this not show a heart empty of God and full of defilement and fornication and rebellion against the original purpose of God for our bodies, especially for our sexual members?… Dear woman, I call you “sister”, and I don’t call you just a “female reader”, because “female”, when not explained like in Genesis 1:27, is a term that I think should be used for animals, or at the most in medical terminology… You’re not just a female; you’re not just what your sexual gender expresses. You’re a woman! You’re a human, made in the image of God! When God made us, He didn’t say that He made us males in the image of God, nor of course females in the image of God! What did He say? He said:

“And God created Man in his image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (Genesis 1:27)

In this verse, “him” refers to “Man”, and then this Man is described as “them”, i.e. both male and female humans are this one Man created in the image of God.

So dear sister, how would you accept that they describe you as a “female”, and not as a human being made in the image of God? How do you accept it (and you even get happy!!) when they say you’re “sexy”?? “Sexy” means “sexually interesting or exciting”! Do you really want them to look at you as a sexual object? Isn’t your value more than what your sexual members express for the defiled hearts full of adultery?  The Lord said:

“Ye have heard that it has been said, Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say unto you, that every one who looks upon a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

Every man who looks at you as a sexual object and lusts after you saying “you’re sexy” (i.e. “you excite me sexually”!) is committing adultery with you in his heart… Is this what you really want? Is this your value? I am still not talking about the sin of making men sin by looking at you; this is not the case here for now. What I am talking about is your value in your eyes. Do you think of yourself as a sexual object for which men should lust? Excuse me for the expression, but are you a female animal that excites a male animal sexually?? Aren’t you made in the image of God, with honorable human characteristics which should be respected by those men who only lust after your body? Years later, you will become old; will you then become ugly for those men? Will you cease to have any value?… You may even get sick or have an accident that may make you lose your physical external beauty; will you then be a nothing for those people?… The way you think about all these matters shows where your heart is and whether you want to honor with your body God alone or your fleshly desires.

So the beauty of a woman is not relative at all. What the world calls “beautiful” or “sexy” is not beauty at all. Only what GOD calls beautiful is really beautiful. And we have seen in our text how God says that this woman Abigail was “of a beautiful countenance”, i.e. she had a beautiful appearance. In many parts of the Word of God, we see the description of this beauty; we will see that later, if the Lord wills. But for now, note with me how the Lord links the good understanding with the beauty of this woman. So the beauty that the Lord our God is talking about in this passage is not a mere external beauty that the worldly people call “sexy”, but it is something deeper. Indeed, the Word of God describes the “sexy” beauty, which is the external superficial beauty empty of godliness, as follows:

“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.” (Proverbs 11:22)

This is the woman who is happy when they call her “sexy”: she’s like a ring of gold in a swine’s snout… Indeed, she lacks discretion, for if she didn’t lack it, she would not be happy to be called “sexy”. And all women who are without Christ, even if they don’t like to be called “sexy” but DO concentrate on the pleasures and beauty of the flesh, are without discretion, as we will see in our next study, if the Lord wills.

Grace be with you!
Disciple of Jesus Christ


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Posted in Truth | With the Word
This is part 5 of the series: A godly wife and an ungodly husband

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3 Responses to The Christian woman: Beautiful or “sexy”?

  1. Steve Brogan says:

    Something that I think is overlooked is that, from all Ive read and experienced, Christian men and women, specifically men and women born into the Christian experience, dont find each other that attractive. Also, the divorce rate for Christian men and women is about the same for pagan, heathen, whatever. From what I see the Christian role model for men is about the same as it was for Nazis, heathen, again whatever. The man is supposed to exemplify strength, basically be a super jock with amazing sexual attributes (I left out the graphic term.) Also, supposed to be handsome and a great earner. So basically all men raised in the Christian tradition that dont come up to this standard are thrown under the bus, and discarded as not being Christian (this has been my personal experience anyway.) A Christian woman would have to say what its like for women. Hence, the Christian population appears to be going down dramatically because not enough people fit the standard. Also, Jewish people seem to be a tiny minority and many of them marry outside their faith. The people who are having a lot of children arent the standardized Christians. Basically, bottomline I would have to say being in a “Christian” environment had a lot, though not all, of bummer attributes. Bummer in like not good. But maybe my fault, I should have been born handsome, rich, and a physical specimen.

  2. Dear Steve,

    Thank you for the interesting comment. What you said pictures the state of the visible Church in the last days when the nominal worldly Christians are considered as children of God because of the lack of discernment. Thus the worldly Christians are considered as representatives of who a true Christian is. The way those Christians live and think and act is considered the standard Christian way. But God says that this is not true… God says that a true Christian is someone who was born of God, whose mind is renewed and who day by day is transformed by this renewing of his mind:

    “And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of [your] mind, that ye may prove what [is] the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)

    The one who is born of God is a new creature (cf. 2 Corinthians 5:17). He doesn’t live and think like the world, and therefore he is persecuted by the world (including nominal worldly Christians). We have seen this truth in many places on this weblog. For example, you can read the following article from this series about the godly woman and the ungodly husband: The saints will be persecuted.

    There will always be false prophets (impostors), and the Lord Jesus warned about them and said that they will be many, but He also said that they are not true Christians, but only false prophets who practice lawlessness:

    “Not every one who says to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of the heavens, but he that does the will of my Father who is in the heavens. Many shall say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied through thy name, and through thy name cast out demons, and through thy name done many works of power? and then will I avow unto them, I never knew you. Depart from me, workers of lawlessness.” (Matthew 7:21-23)

    And Satan uses these workers of lawlessness (because they are his children) to accuse the true Christians, because he is the accuser of the saints (cf. Revelation 12:10). The challenge is now whether or not we will believe the lies of Satan about the true Christians. If we believe his lies, we prove to be false Christians or worldly people who do not have the mind of Christ and thus do not think like Christ, but who prefer to believe those lies as we seek a justification for our refusal of repentance and true faith in Christ. The one who has the mind of Christ knows that true Christians are the invisible Church of Christ who live in obedience to Christ, and the pattern of their life tells about “the excellencies of Him who has called [them] out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). They are not righteous in themselves, but by the Grace of God they are what they are (cf. 1 Corinthians 15:10). And there are many promises in the Word of God that the Lord will continue His good work in them until the end and will present them blameless before Him:

    “having confidence of this very thing, that he who has begun in you a good work will complete it unto Jesus Christ’s day” (Philippians 1:6).

    “Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy” (Jude 24).

    If you believe the lies of Satan, then you will look around you at the large apostasy or lawlessness of the last days, and thus your love will grow cold, proving that you are not a true Christian (cf. Matthew 24:12). But if you are a true Christian who is born of God, then you will not look on humans, but on Christ, and thus you will be like Him: looking stedfastly on Jesus the leader and completer of faith: who, in view of the joy lying before him, endured [the] cross, having despised [the] shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2) “But we all, looking on the glory of the Lord, with unveiled face, are transformed according to the same image from glory to glory, even as by [the] Lord [the] Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

    So it is not true that the work of the Lord in us is so weak that we find worldly people attractive rather than the children of God (cf. Psalm 16:3)… It is not true that His work in us is so weak that we love divorce which He hates (cf. Malachi 2:16) and that we encourage the pagan model of how a man or a woman should be. Don’t believe the lies of the devil, but believe God.

    Grace be with you!
    Disciple of Jesus Christ

  3. mary t says:

    Interesting that you wrote this! there is a gentleman in church that is very jovial and a sweet Christian person, but may not be considered “attractive” by the world’s standards of beauty (I said “the world” not “God’s world”). However, he is more of a lovable person than some one who has looks but is cold in their personality. I think beautiful people are those that you just want to be around; you cannot explain it, but the love of God inside of them draws you to them.

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